Poems

Letting you go is hard to do.
I’ve known you so long. Can I give you up?
I don’t know. You mean so much to me.
Inside, I feel pain, sharp pain;
Hurt cries out, but only on the inside.
I want you here to stay with me.
Why does it have to hurt?
It’s been said, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
But no, no I say.
Parting is just plain sorrow.

Many diff’rent songs come to mind,
As I see you ready to leave.
I must live my life, you must live your life.
Why though? I’ve had you all my life.
How can I live without you here?
You must go; I know that.
It still hurts much. I can’t deny.
If I did it would be a lie.
That would not stop the pain I feel.
I do not want you gone,
But I know my wants aren’t your needs.

I must agree with Boys II Men when they say,
“It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”
It is.

James Sander-Cederlof

Written to my father when he moved from California to Colorado

Also published in the Desert Winds magazine
in Deming, New Mexico
as a Memorial Day tribute in 1995

That Eleventh Day

Oh, what did it mean to you?
Where did your thoughts fly to?
Did you go back to family,
Did you visit an old friend,
That eleventh day?

Waking up, seeing the news;
It hardly seemed so real.
Sat there thinking it could have
Been me on those planes in the sky, for
I was to fly on that eleventh day.

How could someone do this?
How could someone be this mean?
All I wanted to do was to
Visit a friend that I hadn’t seen.
It all was to start that eleventh day.

As I pondered what to do,
I realized this much:
Not completing the trip
Would only mean I lost
On that eleventh day.

I packed my bags in my car
And on the road I was;
Looking back never once,
California bound
On that eleventh day.

People thought me crazy
For the action that I took.
Crazy maybe, but stupid no;
For I didn’t let the terrorists win
That eleventh day.

James Sander-Cederlof -- 2001

Reflections

Reflecting back through the years;
Where did all the time go?
Seems I’ve made it so far,
Yet never reached the goal.
The things I’ve wanted, some
I got, others I guess
Have eluded my grasp.

To live again I would
Not do. Mistakes I’ve made,
I’ve had my share, growing
From them is what I’ve done.
Life’s a journey, or so
They say; I guess that means
I am not finished yet.

Perhaps I’ll do those things
Left to do; not to try
Would be the crime. I’ll give
This journey one more shot.

James Sander-Cederlof

Stars

I sit alone and watch the stars,
So thankful for what they are.
God’s handprint up above
To show us his love.
So perfect in every way
To shed new light every day.
In awe I sit here gazing
At his love so amazing.
Oh how He loves us so
To give us that to which I say “whoa.”
The stars in all their glory
To remind us of His Son’s glory.

James Sander-Cederlof

Just a Little Smile

Just a little smile is all I need
From you to pull me through today.
When times are tough I think of you
And it gets better just like that.
The wonder of your smile I
Can’t explain, but it warms my heart
All the same. Thinking of it day
And night is to be truly
Satisfied. Glee fills my soul with
The smile in my head. Won’t you
Please give me a little smile?

James Sander-Cederlof

Crucified

Oh, What did we do? Oh why
Were we so cruel? He stood
There and cried while we mocked
And laughed. His tears, we could
Not see the meaning of them.
He had only love for us, even
Though we beat Him so. This
Perfect white Lamb, we stained
Him with red. The whips, the spears
All for Him. He was barely
Alive as we made Him walk to
His death. Why? We were so mean,
Yet His thoughts had our best intentions
At heart. He willingly gave His life
To spare ours. Knowing we would
Still kill Him today, He was willing,
Willing to go to that cross and be placed
On it to die. Yes, for all that I am, He
Was willing, though I don’t understand
Why, to go there and be
Crucified.

James Sander-Cederlof — I had been thinking of some ideas,
and this poem finally emerged from within me as I was sitting listening
to a Ray Boltz CD I have. The song I was listening to was
“Watch The Lamb” and I sat there thinking how I was responsible
for Jesus being crucified. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did
writing it. The poem ends in a question type statement.
I know the answer to it, but I wanted to leave it this way
for people to think about it. (Easter 2005)

The Weight of Sin

My thoughts raced back through all
My sins. There were so many
I could not count them all.
It was horrifying to
Relive them all. I sat
There crying as I was
Crushed beneath the weight
Of them all. I could not lift
Them up no matter how
I tried. My mind then flew
To another place, another
Time. I wondered what I
Was doing here. The place
Seemed so strange, yet so
Comforting. Just what was
I doing here? I could still
Feel the weight; that had not
Left. Why would I leave the
Place I knew just to come
To this strange place? The answer
Came as I looked up and saw
Him on that cross. The weight
Left me as He looked at
Me and said, “You my
Son are forgiven.”

James Sander-Cederlof — This poem has its roots
in a dream I had a while back. You might say
this poem is reflecting true life, since I did
experience it. I hope you like it. (April 2005)

What Is Sunday?

My head is ready to explode;
My stomach feels ready to implode.
I’m turning red, or so they say.
“Daddy, Will Mr. C be okay?”
“Yes son, he’ll be fine,” is what he says.
My hand is shaking as I pick up the glass.
My head aches above the eyes;
Something has gone through my head,
But has not made it all the way through.
Holding my breath, but not in fear.
I try to speak, but nothing forms.
I cannot breathe; my head size grows.
The harder I try, the harder it gets.
If only I could convey my message,
But it seems this will not be.
My body, I cannot control. If I
Could just utter one word, control
Might be mine. The enemy is having
His way. He won’t allow me to say
What is needed to say. I must
Put forth the answer and stop his wicked
Ways. It all started with a simple question:
“What is Sunday?” Kathy asked.
As they sat there eating, and wanting to
Help, God finally gave me the strength
To utter the one word answer:
“Baptism.”

James Sander-Cederlof — I wrote this poem because
I was reflecting back on the dinner I had the previous night and the
encounter that took place from one simple question that our enemy,
Satan, did not want me to answer. He, however, was not victorious,
as God came through and rescued me from his snare. I cannot recall
being baptized before (at least for the right reasons), so I feel the
need is now to comply to that calling of God. Our church will be
doing a baptism on this Sunday, the 17th of April, and I will be
taking part in that. If God wants and loves a broken down vessel
like me, He can love anyone. I am but an empty vessel He wants to
repair and fill. (April 12, 2005)

Tasting The Goodness

The river flows; All I need is You.
It starts stirring, I feel it spinning.
I look around and all that’s familiar
Seems so rare. Only Yours is the
Milk I want; It’s all I’ll ever taste.
Time comes, times goes, but You
Remain. The simplest of words is
But what I have to give. You’re
Shaping, molding me to fit Your
Form. I press on towards the goal;
Reaching it at the end. No, not
The end of the day, but the end is but
A new beginning. The goal that I
Will complete is that Amazing Grace
In which we’ll dwell and have “no
Less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we first begun.”

James Sander-Cederlof — This poem actually came to me
while listening to a secular CD by Yaz. The songs I was listening
to were Don’t Go and Only You. I began to think about
how I wanted only God and I didn’t want Him to leave me.
It is comforting to know He will never leave or forsake us.
It is us who makes that choice. That is a choice I do not want to make.
Eternal separation from the joy and happiness is a hell
I do not want to encounter and feel.

McPherson

Slowly he passes the lamppost
As the moon looks on. The
Gentle stride makes silence
In the October night. Up
Ahead McPherson makes
Haste, ne’er looking back.
McPherson, running the race
But losing ground with each
Step. McPherson meets the
Brick wall at Finish Lane.
His slow, gentle stride comes
Over McPherson. Yes the
Two met at Finish Lane,
And Death breathes into
McPherson’s soul.

James Sander-Cederlof — I got the idea for this
poem while experimenting with Poetry in Motion
(which I submitted “Crucified” to).
I began to think how we cannot take life
for granted and act carelessly.
Let’s make the right choice, right now.

God’s Promise

Wow! God just made a promise to
Me. I heard His still voice in the
Air as He spoke that promise to
Me. It’s such a sweet, soothing
Promise that He made. It’s like
No other promise He could have
Made. His promise told of how
He had compassion for me; He
Would not destroy me for the wicked
Things I’ve done. His promise
Gives me hope, for since He
Wiped the face of the earth,
He promised me that rainbow
Today in the sky. I saw hope for
My future looking through the bow.
Yes, my God is in utter control.

James Sander-Cederlof — I came up with this poem today
as I looked at the rainbow God placed for me to remind me
and Him of His promise so long ago. I thought it was truly
awesome this promise He gave. Never again will the Flood be.
The time is coming, true indeed, but what a wonderful
handprint the rainbow is. (23 April 2005)

Mother

The mother’s love, so complete;
So perfect in ev’ry way.
Time and time we disappoint,
Yet she still shines her love
Through to us. She’s always
There for us, good or bad.
The hand of love, it’s also
Comfort. Where would we be
Without our moms? Reaching
Out, she guides and directs
Us. There’s so much to learn
From her. If we could just
Give back a little love
She gives freely to us,
That would please her greatly,
But would not begin to be
Enough to pay her back for
All those times she’s been there
For us. Today is that
Special day when we should
Remember and think of her,
So Mom, “I love you,” but
Not just today, but ev’ry
Day is the same, for ev’ry
Day is Mother’s Day.

James Sander-Cederlof — 8 May 2005

Through the eyes

Through the eyes of a three year old
I am no different from anyone else.
I am someone to play cards with
And someone to laugh with. She sees
I like to play GameCube with her older
brother now and then. I also have this
cool thing that I use to walk with.

Through the eyes of a seven year old
I am that person who loves to play games.
We have a ball whether it’s backgammon
Or GameCube. It’s even Chutes And Ladders
With his younger sister at times.
Sure, I need help now and then getting
Around, but I do have the walker and his helping
Hand for that. So what if I can’t do everything
Normal; I play great at GameCube games for
Using just one hand.

Through the eyes of one aged thirty-four
I am beat down and worn out but like
To play games. I wonder what it would be like
To hit the ball and run the bases. Run and catch
The ball would be a treat as well. In the mind
I make the perfect play. I guess right now
I’ll have to settle for the mind, as I have the
Daunting walker to remind me that I’d never make
It to first base, let alone home. That perfect catch
Would result in a first-class fall.

Through the eyes of God
I am just how He wants me to be. He
Nudges me at times to get me there when
Off I stray. he doesn’t care if I can’t make the
Perfect play or run to first. He looks at me
And sees someone who likes to play cards and
Play GameCube now and then. He also likes
That cool thing I use to walk with.

I guess God is a lot like a three year old.

James Sander-Cederlof — Maybe I should be more like a three year old, perhaps? (August 2005)

AKA Memories

The child, sitting there, looking so sweet,
Smiling back at me. The bond we share,
None can compare. Thinking of the times
We’ve had, the moments we’ve shared;
I wouldn’t trade those memories. The joy
He brings fills my soul. It doesn’t matter
What we do; We do it together. It could be
A simple snack, or a simple meal. A simple game
To pass the time. You can take my money, or
My stuff. Just leave me the memories.

James Sander-Cederlof — Fall, 2006

To My Friend

I’m glad you’re my friend,
There’s so much we do,
There’s so much we share.
You treat me as equal
When we are so ill-matched.
There’s nothing I do that
I think would deserve to be
Treated special, yet I
Feel special when I’m with
You. I guess I am special
To have a friend like you.

James Sander-Cederlof — Nov 17, 2006

For Sale By Private Party

It’s just a simple vessel
That’s been well used.
It’s seen many a mile,
Yet the oil’s never new.
The paint is fading
From the years of abuse.
The headlights are cracked,
And I believe they don’t shine.
The doors, they stick, and
The tires, they’re bald.
The mileage is bad, and
The speed is subpar. The seats
Are worn, and the springs
Stick through.

With love and care, the
Vessel will run. My price
Is low, but it’s quite
Fair. All I ask for
Is Your love and care.

With those two things,
I’ll be like new. I’ll
Still be worn from my
Years of abuse. I’ll
Still be slow, and my
Distance will be low.
I’ll still need eyewear,
But my eyes,
They’ll finally shine.

James Sander-Cederlof — Nov 1, 2007

Where Was I?

Where was I on that fateful day?
In the corner of His mind, what’d I say?
Was I there cheering Him on? or was I
Jeering Him on? He knew which side
I took and loved me still the same. Would
I have been willing to carry His cross?
Would I have spit right in His face?

He wasn’t Monty Hall, and there weren’t any two doors,
One with “A” and the other labeled “B”. It’s but
A simple thing, you see, as He knows which side
I would’ve picked. My head shouts cheer, while
My heart pounds jeer. My heart breaks
Now, you see, for I fear Peter wouldn’t have
Been alone when that cock, he did crow.
“Father please forgive them” said He,
As he looked me straight in the eye. I
Hung my head in shame, and wanted to die.
“It’s over” he proclaimed, and proceeded to die. Why?

It was for people like me He chose to die.
He loved me so much He willingly died.
He’s there to help me when I call;
He’ll carry me the distance when I fall.
Love like His you’ll never find,
For you see, He’s one of a kind.
He chose us on that fateful day,
Regardless of where we stayed.
A cheer? A jeer? He loved the same.

I’ve figured out where I was at Calvary.
I was where I still am. You see,
I was there in His heart.
He’s praying we’ll never part.

James Sander-Cederlof — August, 2008

The Lord

Fear the Lord, for He is good.
Love the Lord; He is awesome.
The Lord is perfect and grand.
He has promised us life
For the taking. All He asks
Of us is to believe. All
Our heart should follow
The Son. When we fall
He is there. He helps us
Up and dusts us off if
We ask. He is reaching,
Reaching out to us. Let us
Reach out for His hand.
Let us fear and love the
Lord; He is God.

James Sander-Cederlof — August, 2008

The Football Team

There’s two sides to ev’ry story they say.
That’s true. I can visualize this day
The two sides of my life. I may lay
In my bed thinking of the great way
I have lived and how it’s been A-OK.

My friends deserted me, but that’s alright.
I’ve made new ones that stay in sight.
When the going got tough, they quickly took flight.
I have a grand time reflecting at night.
During the day, I lift things with all my might.

Choices I made call for my new friend Jack.
He’s trying real hard to separate me from crack.
I listen real hard as his mouth goes yackety yack.
It’s hard to believe how fast my life got off-track.
Oh wait, it’s all because I wanted to turn time back.

Reality, you see, is really quite diff’rent.
New struggles, no, there aren’t. Bent
Down in pain, I scream, just to vent.
I grasp the wall to move around the apartment.
This method is how I always went.

I never chose to live this way, but someone
Else wanted me this way. I just can’t run,
Or catch the ball. My role on the team isn’t none.
It’s to think how we can get the game won.
To this end, my job will never be done.

There’s different parts on the football team,
And to play the runner, for me it’d seem
I’d have to go back, but from what I seen
That’s a place I wouldn’t want to be.
I’ll play the part I’ve been given on God’s football team.

James Sander-Cederlof — August, 2008

Proverbs 30:5ff

Lord, I want my share. I don’t
Want too much, but I want
What’s right for me. It’ll be
Neither too little nor too much.
You’ll feed me with the food
That’s convenient for me. You
Know how much I can handle.
And that’s the share I want.

James Sander-Cederlof — August, 2008

John 11:35

The wars, from then to now,
Fighting them as we go.
The plaques are there to remind us how
Our people just wouldn’t say no.

People we’ve lost along the way
Through exploring a new place.
They wanted to brighten our day,
One ship blew up traveling to space.

Natural disasters , there’s been a few.
Earthquakes and floods, but still
There’s more. Winds have torn through
Places through time, and yes, they kill.

These are some reasons why
Jesus wept.

James Sander-Cederlof — August, 2008

Five Minutes

God, all I want is five minutes.
I’ll be satisfied after those five.
I want to be Superman and set foot
On this place. I don’t want fame
And I don’t seek cash. You know
My reasons, as I’ve told You before.
Yes, just give me those five minutes
With superhuman feats. Yes, I just
Want five minutes of being “Normal Joe.”

James Sander-Cederlof — October, 2008

My Mind

God gave me a mind, yes it’s true.
It’s amazing how it works, through
And through. Quite well; it works
All day strong. I put it to use and
Things go right through. Why is it then
I vow at times to use it so slight?
It hurts my brain to think this through.
I guess I must think of something new.

James Sander-Cederlof — October, 2008

Poems

by James Sander-Cederlof

James has published two books, available on Amazon

The poems on this page now also appear in The World Through My Eye, although in a slightly altered form.

The poems on this page now also appear in The World Through My Eye,
although in a slightly altered form.